Day Six

I'm kind of bemused at the way this blog is turning out to have nothing whatsoever to do with diabetes. It's been at the center of my thoughts for several years now, and when I started writing here I couldn't imagine that not being the case. How quickly things have changed.

I anticipate a rough patch this afternoon, as I'm going to my (former) house to pick up--aha, here we go!--some insulin pump supplies I was too upset to remember on Wednesday. I expect that A may be there, in which case a difficult conversation may ensue. So I'm going to a meeting first to help bolster my courage.

The latter part of the day ought to be excellent, though. My brother and his wife are coming from Phoenix for Mother's Day. Just yesterday I finally told my brother about my alcoholism; he was the only significant person in my life I hadn't yet told. I was afraid to, honestly, because he's never forgiven our dad for his own addiction-related behaviors. Finally I wrote to him yesterday, not knowing he was planning to pop in this weekend. I laid it all out there and explained that I wasn't doing so by phone because I feel a lot of shame and a lot of fear over how he might react.

Bro's response was golden. Not disappointed, not angry, he said. Shocked, yes, but behind me 100% and very glad I'm taking action. Dismissed my self-comparisons to Dad, given that Dad never acknowledged having an addiction, never got treatment, and never truly grew beyond it despite occasionally drying up for periods ranging from months to a few years.

So, phew. Again I am so grateful for my family. We will take Mom to dinner at our favorite restaurant, no one will order wine, and tomorrow we'll have a yummy breakfast. It's good; life is good.