Day One

I'm quitting. I quit. No more. The costs have become too high.

These are my promises to self and readers:

1. Will try an AA meeting or a SMART meeting (also for alcoholics but a different approach) today and tomorrow.

2. Will tell my mom, which will be a hell of a lot harder than going to a meeting, either today or tomorrow. I'm pretty sure she has no idea; she would have confronted me if she did.

3. Will introduce myself in the newcomers forum at soberrecovery.com.

4. Will go to therapist on Wednesday.

5. If I determine that I can't keep from drinking, I'll start researching rehab programs.

I feel grief, fear, and shame in noteworthy quantities. I hope some shreds of pride and hope will start fluttering in the wind soon.