State of the alcoholic: First in a series

I remain, unsurprisingly, a work in progress. To wit:

Recovery: In the big picture, so far, so good. The daily reprieves continue; today is day 98. The minutiae, some of which are not at all minute, vary somewhat. I'm wrapping up step 3, attending meetings every day, and conducting morning and evening attempts to connect with the HP with perhaps 80% regularity. I forget to call my sponsor at least twice a week. (I'm supposed to call her every day unless we see each other.) Obviously I am not blogging every other day, either. I haven't been reading the Big Book much, though I am all over the Twelve and Twelve owing to step meetings and the aforementioned step work. Have started attending a new recovery group for women that E is organizing--not a 12-Step group but rather a "provide support and call each other on our shit" group.

It's messy, see? I am muy imperfect but seem to be hitting the critical elements, mostly. And I didn't drink today, huzzah!

Spirituality: See above. Here's a relevant quote that popped up at random in one of my daily meditation books last week:

Listen to the kind voice inside. Listen to the voice that tells you you're good enough. Listen to the voice that tells you it's okay to make mistakes--you'll learn from them. Listen to the voice that tells you to go to your meeting even though it's cold outside and you're tired. Listen, and let this voice become more and more clear. Listen, and welcome it into your heart. Talk with this voice. Ask it questions and seek it out when you need a friend. This voice is your Higher Power. Listen as your Higher Power speaks to you. Listen as it tells you what a great person you are.

--Keep It Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve-Step Beginnings and Renewal (Hazelden (c) 1989, no author credited)

Moi, a great person? Well. Stay tuned.

Work: Much, as in exponentially, better than pre-June. Am at risk of making another big deadline later this month. Doing fine in university job (ironically, no one there is paying attention, hee). Deeply relieved to discover that I am regaining the capacity to accomplish worthwhile tasks for which others will give me money. Complete failure thus far at the Month of the Hustle. Need to get on that posthaste.

Finances: Have mostly paid bills on time since sobriety, whee! Have not dealt with the tax horrors. Or that one collection thingie. Am opening mail on or about the day it arrives. Have retrieved car from state of suspended registration. Must pay parking tickets before more ominous envelopes arrive from the City of Tucson. (Mom gets her knickers in a twist over those.) Gah.

Home: First apartment fell through after Mom decided not to cosign. Am incredibly relieved, as am now spared what was fast becoming Unmanageable Mom Panic over the state of my finances. Found second, much humbler apartment for which sorry-ass credit is not a factor. Bonus: location is even farther away from A's neighborhood. Can't walk to work but can walk to two coffee shops and a used bookstore (joy!). Work is 5 minutes away by bus. Moving the furniture in a week (thank you, thank you, oh True Friend Patrick) and myself and pets the week after, assuming can convince the gas company to trust me enough to turn on service. (Now have an actual pay stub PLUS a budget on fancy spreadsheet; wonder if these would impress them?)

Every day brings more humility. This is good.

Health (physical): Holding steady. Good diabetes numbers, but not exercising. Have had total caffeine relapse; do not care. Suddenly have dental insurance for first time in years; must now find dentist.

Whoops. Blood sugar = 59. Yay irony! I am totally eating more ice cream RIGHT NOW.

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Okay. I consider this SOTA incomplete but adequate. I'm here and I'm grateful. And I'm going to bed.